Love & Hate
by fancymyselfww
Summary: Darvey AU / What if Harvey hadn't broken up with Paula and Donna had actually left him completely. This is set several years later. Harvey is married and Donna is too. They live separate lives but what happens when they run into each other one day?
1. Love & Hate

_Darvey AU / What if Harvey hadn't broken up with Paula and Donna had actually left him completely. This is set several years later. Harvey is married and Donna is too. They live separate lives but what happens when they run into each other one day?_

 _This will involve flashbacks_ _about how they separated which is also AU._

 _I started writing this because I was super frustrated with season 7B so please let me know what you think!_

 _English isn't my first language but I hope I won't make too many mistakes. I'm open for criticism though._

It was raining on this Tuesday afternoon. No not raining, it was like the world was about to end.

Donna was cursing herself for going out without an umbrella today but she just wanted to pick up some food on her way home. It was nice and sunny when she left her office and now here she was waiting to cross the streets while she was trying to protect her hair with the bag of food.

She looked to her right and then to her left. It seemed like this was a good time to quickly run across the street, so she ran.

Shortly before she reached the other side a car suddenly came to a stop right in front of her. She must have missed it when she made sure the way was clear.

The car honked angrily and one of the backdoors opened.

"Are you out of your mind, lady?! My driver almost hit you! Watch your- Donna?!", the man who just got out of the car shouted at her. She was unable to move because of the shock but she knew that voice.

The man got closer to her, now standing next to her in the pouring rain and she was able to see his face.

"Harvey?!"

They both just stood there and stared at each other. It was over five years since they had last seen each other and it didn't exactly end on good terms.

Another honking sound brought them both back to reality. This time it was from one of the cars behind Harvey's. They all had to stop due to the two people standing in the middle of the street.

"Donna you're going to get sick or get yourself killed, please let Ray drive you home.", Harvey offered without thinking twice.

It didn't matter that they hadn't seen each other for a long time. He never stopped caring about her.

Since Donna was still in shock she just nodded and got in the car next to Harvey.

"Do you still live in your old apartment?", Harvey asked and Donna shook her head and told Ray her new address.

Harvey knew from the area that the address belonged to that it had to be a small house that wasn't cheap and he wondered why she lived there now. But he didn't ask.

They sat next to each other in silence for a while. But it became to much and Donna finally said something.

"You didn't have to do that, Harvey. I was going to call a cab anyways."

"It was the least I could do after almost killing you.", he said with a small smile and Donna mirrored his smile.

It was like they had just seen each other yesterday, not five years ago.

"How have you been?", Harvey asked. He seemed to be genuinely interested in how her life had developed.

"Well actually I've been good. I'm working again and as you already know I moved." _Far away from you because I couldn't bear being near_ _you_ , she thought but she didn't say anything.

He wondered why she said that she was working _again_. Had she stopped working after she left him and the firm? He didn't want to cross a line by getting to personal so he stayed quiet.

"How about you?", Donna felt the need to fill the silence by asking him the same question.

"Well I moved too actually.. And I'm still working at the firm. Louis is still annoying so there's not much that has changed."

Donna nodded. She didn't know what to say next but she knew it would take them about ten more minutes to get to her house.

"I now live near Central Park. In the south.", he said because he also felt the need to somehow keep the conversation alive.

"What made you give up your condo? I thought you'd die in that thing."

"I thought so too."

"Then what changed?", Donna was now getting more interested in the conversation but she didn't want to push Harvey.

"I got married."

 **Flashback - five years and six months ago**

He ripped her cancelation right in front of her.

"So, are you coming back?", he asked full of hope.

"What about Paula? Did you.. I mean are you still..?"

"We are still together Donna. But I can't lose you, don't you understand that?", his voice broke and her heart broke too.

Why did he come here? What had changed?

"Harvey, nothing has changed when you're still with her. We can't work together anymore I thought that was clear. Look, I was trying to make this easier for you.", she explained looking at the ripped paper in his hands.

She noticed that they were shaking but she didn't know why.

"Donna please, we can work this out."

"No we can't, Harvey! We've been trying for 12 years and see where we are now!", she raised her voice, becoming more and more frustrated with the situation, frustrated with him.

"So, this is it then?", he asked and she saw tears in his eyes but she tried to ignore them. This was already hard enough.

"I guess so."

"Good night Donna."

"Goodbye Harvey."

 **End of flashback**

"Oh.", she couldn't quite understand the feelings that she was suddenly overwhelmed by. What did she expect? Of course he had to move on with his life. She had too.

"Well I'm happy for you and I'm sure she is great although I probably can't be the judge of that, cause I've obviously never met her.", Donna rambled because she suddenly felt very insecure sitting in the car with her old friend.

"Actually, you have. It's Paula."

"Oh.", she said again.

"We got married two years ago.", he was trying to make this situation less uncomfortable.

"Harvey, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm truly happy for you.", both knew that she was lying and that this conversation was strange. "Thank you.", he said anyways.

After that they both seemed to have decided that silence was way better than continuing the conversation. Especially because she didn't want to talk to him about her life at all.

So they looked out of their window and waited for Ray to tell them that they finally had arrived at Donna's house.

"I guess I'll see you around then.", not knowing what to say Harvey decided that this was better than nothing.

Donna just gave him a small smile and got out of the car.

She inhaled deeply and noticed that it wasn't raining anymore. As she climbed the stars to her door she heard the car disappear behind her. She didn't look back.

After finally finding the keys in her handbag she opened the door and got into the house.

"Honey, is that you?", a male voice called out from what was probably the kitchen. "Of course it's me, who else would it be?"

"Oh I don't know maybe the person that fancy car belonged to?", he said laughing while the voice got closer.

"I just ran into an old friend and he gave me a ride because it was raining so much."

He was now standing in front of her, smiling. "Oh that's nice. Come inside I made us dinner." He gave her a quick kiss and again disappeared in their kitchen.

She went into the living room and found the dining table decorated with roses and candles.

"What is all this about?", she asked confused, trying to remember if she had missed some sort of anniversary.

"I just wanted to us to have a good time tonight. Since, you know.. she is at a friends house over night."

He put the food he held in is hands on the table and hugged her from behind. His hands caressing her waist.

"And with _she_ I believe you mean our daughter, right?"

"Exactly. I brought her over to her friend's house an hour ago and since Anna explicitly told me that she didn't want any interruptions from us old people this evening I thought she wouldn't interrupt us either."

He placed a small kiss on the side of her neck and then let go of her. He held her chair back and waited patiently for her to sit down. "Did you tell her that she's getting old too? I can't believe she's almost five now."

"Yeah me neither.."

In that moment of silence Donna realized that she had forgotten the bag of food in Harvey's car. She wanted to say something but decided against it. They had something to eat here, she didn't want to bring up Harvey so she decided to just enjoy this evening with her husband.

"This is really nice. Thank you Mark."

 **Flashback - five years and six months ago**

She was woken up in the middle of the night by a forceful knocking on her door.

"Donna?! Donna open the door I know you're there."

She knew that it was Harvey, the man she had send away only a five hours ago. She also knew that he was drunk. She could tell by the way he slurred the words.

Donna didn't want to open him. She was done and she made that very clear.

But she also knew that he had probably sent Ray away and since he seemed to be really dunk she didn't want him to go out in that state either so she got up, quickly changed into something more appropriate than her panties and an oversized shirt and opened the door.

"Harvey what are you doing here?! I thought we said everything. Go home!", she wanted to say more but he pressed her against the wall. Their noses were almost touching and he could smell the weak still remaining scent of her perfume she wore to work today.

" I can't stop thinking about you Donna. Please don't leave me. ", he said trying to talk as clear as possible but he failed.

She tried to form an answer but her senses were overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by him. His scent, his breath on her face and his body that was fully pressed against her. His eyes were dark but his expressions soft.

"Harvey.. We- we have talked about this.", she finally managed to say.

"But I don't want to lose you.. There has to be another way.", he paused, his eyes never leaving hers. "I can't stop thinking about the kiss and I know it's wrong but.." Donna interrupted him before this could get even more inappropriate. She also tried to push him away and succeeded after a few seconds.

"But what, Harvey? I told you I didn't feel anything when I kissed you and I know that you don't want to cheat on Paula. So please tell me how this will make the situation any better!", she almost yelled at him at the end of her sentence.

Harvey stared down to his feet, then he looked up and met her gaze, his eyes even darker than before. "Damnit Donna that's bullshit and you know it. You felt something but you're too afraid to admit it!"

"That wouldn't change anything, Harvey! You're still with her and I'm not listening to you acusing me of lying about something you have been lying about for the last 12 years! I want you to leave now!" she was pointing at the door that was still open. She didn't want the whole floor to hear their argument.

He walked to the door but instead of walking through it he closed it and stayed inside.

Then he slowly turned around. "What if I wasn't with Paula?"

She couldn't believe what he just said. He was against any form of cheating.

"I probably wouldn't have kissed you then."

"Why?", he started getting closer to her again.

"Because I thought it was my last chance. You and her had the potential that I didn't see in your other relationships. It was now or never, Harvey. And I have apologized for it and that's why I know that this isn't what you really want. This isn't you."

It took him a while to process what she had just said in his drunken state. He knew she was right. But it still felt different with her.

He sat down on her couch. The room was spinning around him and when he looked up he realized that she was sitting next to him.

"With you it doesn't feel like cheating and that scares me. It feels..right.

"Does it feel wrong when you're with Paula?"

"No it doesn't."

She didn't know why but she felt disappointed. Maybe some part of her had hoped that he would say yes and that they could explore whatever this was.

"Then go back to her. This is not how we should happen.", she considered this her last words and expected him to leave now but apparently his drunk mind didn't think like his normal one would.

He placed his right hand on her thigh and with his left hand he caressed her cheek. His face was only inches away from hers. The air grew thick between them and she could again feel his breath this time on her lips.

"I slept with Mark.", Donna lied as her last attempt to resist him. "And he's married.", she quickly added, knowing this would probably do the trick.

He moved away almost instantly.

"What? Why?", he asked, calmer than she had expected him to be.

"Because I felt lonely and unwanted and he made me feel wanted."

"But he's married."

"And you are with Paula."

Now he moved away from her.

"Can I sleep on the couch tonight? I can't call Ray again it's almost 3 am and Paula is home I don't want to go there right now.", Harvey asked.

"What will you tell her when you're not home the entire night?"

"I don't know. I can't think."

"Okay. Wait here and I'll just get a blanket for you." She knew that he wouldn't leave now no matter what he said and if he slept on the couch and she stayed in her bed nothing would happen.

When Donna came back with the blanket she already found Harvey asleep on the couch. She smiled to herself at the sight and carefully put the blanket over his body.

Then she went into her bedroom and sat down on the bed. _What a wild_ _night_ , she thought and while she was getting ready for bed she heard Harvey moving around on the couch.

She fell asleep quickly.

When she woke up she immediately noticed that something was different. She wasn't alone in her bed. An arm was wrapped around her waist and it felt so normal, so right.

Harvey's entire body was pressed against her and she noticed that he must have undressed himself because he could feel his bare chest and legs. Although he hadn't undressed completely there was no space left between their bodies and she could feel his morning wood against her backside.

She didn't have the strength to push him away. It just felt so right. She wanted this and apparently he wanted it too.

Donna felt him moving behind her and she turned around. Tears ran down her cheeks when she saw that he was awake too. She was overwhelmed by how good this felt and sad because she knew that this was going to be the end.

Harvey wiped away her tears and caressed her cheek.

He had decided that if this was going to be their ending it he would make the most out of it.

As he leaned in to kiss her she didn't try to stop him.

His lips met hers and he tasted her salty tears on them. The kiss was full of frustration that they hadn't done this sooner and full of love they didn't want to admit.

As he rolled on top of her the kiss became more passionate and they both knew that he wouldn't make it to work on time.

 **End of flashback**

Donna knew that it wasn't fair that thoughts of their last time together came back to her while she looked at the man above her.

Mark was panting and if she wouldn't have been so distracted by earlier events she could have actually enjoyed this with him. But instead his noises reminded her of the way Harvey had breathed into her neck. His now uncontrolled movements made her think of how Harvey lost it in the end.

And when she closed her eyes it was like a different man was doing these things to her.

She came with a breathy "Mark!" on her lips but with Harvey on her mind.

 _Okay so that's it for now. Again, I would love to hear what you think about this and whether I should continue or not._

 _Thanks for reading!_


	2. Waves

_Okay since I got so many nice reviews, (thanks to everyone btw!) I've decided to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. And since I'm super motivated to write here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy_ it!

Donna woke up early the next morning. Mark was still sleeping next to her. The watch on her bedside table showed her that it was almost ten am. She knew she was supposed to pick up Anna at eleven thirty so she didn't wait for the alarm she had set the night before.

She went into the bathroom and took a shower, then she got dressed.

It was shortly after 10:30 and since Anna's friend only lived a few blocks away it was too early for her to drive there now. But she didn't want to be at home when Mark woke up. She just wanted to have some time to think about the events of the previous day. So she grabbed her keys and decided to just walk around the park that was close to their house for a while.

While she walked there she couldn't stop thinking about Harvey. How their conversation in the car went. She had wanted to ask so many questions. Did he tell Paula about them? Are they truly happy? And most importantly, does he ever think about her?

The park was crowded. Probably due to the amazing weather. She heard loud music come from somewhere and decided to walk into a different direction. She needed silence and time to herself.

"Donna? Is that you?" she heard a voice behind her. Donna didn't immediately recognize the sound but she would never forget that British accent. She turned around. "Paula? H-hey, how are you?", Donna said, trying to be as nice as possible.

"I'm good, thank you for asking! How are you?" Ugh, Donna hated it at how naturally Paula's politeness came across and she couldn't even manage to fake a smile right now.

"I'm good, great actually! What are you doing here I've never seen you in this park?", Donna was still trying her best not to sound annoyed by her presence. _God why today??_ She thought to herself.

"Well I was just about to meet a patient. It calms him to be outside and he lives just around the corner."

"Oh that's nice! It was nice to see you but I have to go now I need to pick up my daughter from a friend's house!"

Donna had already turned around but the Paula didn't seem to be finished with the conversation. "Donna, wait! Can I talk to you for a second?" Donna turned around again to face the blonde woman. She was confused why Paula wanted to talk to her. She said she just waited for a patient. Paula couldn't have possibly know that Donna would go to the park that day.

"Ehm.. sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well.. Harvey told me about yesterday and.. He seemed upset about the whole situation, Donna." _Why would he be upset? Nothing happened. They literally talked for about three minutes._

"Oh.", she simply said. Waiting for Paula to continue.

"Look I know this is strange but I know you didn't really end it on good terms. You know.. back then." _How much did she know? What did Harvey tell her?_ Again, Donna didn't say anything. Paula wanted to talk to her, she wasn't really comfortable in this situation.

" I just.. Donna I'm sorry that I caused this. I felt threatened by you and.. Would you like to come over for dinner sometime?"

Donna hadn't seen that coming. Of all the things Paula could have wanted to talk to her about, an apology and an invitation for dinner was not something she had expected. She thought about it just for a second but then Harvey came to her mind. And then Mark.

"Paula I don't think..", Donna started but Paula interrupted her. "I'm sure Harvey would enjoy your company too. I think he misses you more than he tells me."

Donna stared at her feet for a moment. "Why would you invite me? I don't want to come across mean but as you said you were the one who didn't want us spending time together, why would you want that now?", she just had to ask. This didn't make sense.

"He had the chance to chose you over me but he didn't." _Ah. So he didn't tell her about their last night._ "And we're married now. I trust him and I know you mean a lot to him."

"I'm married too."

"Great! Then bring him too. It'll be like a double date."

"Yeah sure.", Donna said knowing that it would not be a fun 'double date'. She didn't want to give in but seeing Harvey last night brought up lots of feelings she didn't know she had. And she desperately wanted to see him again.

"I need to find a babysitter for Anna."

"Is Anna your daughter?", Donna was confused for a second but then she realized she hadn't mentioned the name to Paula.

"Yeah."

"I don't want to cause any trouble, you could always just bring her with you."

"Thanks Paula but I'd rather leave her at home."

Under absolutely no circumstances would Donna bring her daughter to them especially not for their first dinner in five years.

"Okay well if you change your mind you can still bring her. And when you picked a date, please call me.", Paula said then she rached into her pocket and handed Donna a small white card. _Paula Agard-Specter_ it said on the front. On the back there were several numbers of her office and probably also their home.

"I will. Goodbye Paula."

"Goodbye Donna." Paula smiled. Not knowing that Donna wanted to throw away the card as soon as she was home.

But first she had to pick up her daughter.

Donna arrived five minutes before she was supposed to be there and rang the doorbell.

She heard someone screaming inside and then someone opened the door.

"Hey Helen I know I'm early but I thought they'd need the time to calm down anyways.", Donna greeted the mom of her daughter's friend. She and Helen had become very close over the last year due to the fact that Anna and Helen's daughter Emily.

Helen laughed. "Did you hear the scream? That was mine because you were five minutes early and they aren't finished their playing session yet. Please come inside. Do you want anything to drink? You look a little pale."

Donna stepped inside the house and her daughter appeared on the steps. "We still have five minutes! You're early!"

"Take your time, honey! I'll drink a coffee with Helen so you have another twenty minutes how does that sound?"

Helen smiled as she heard their daughters running back to Emily's room.

"And I'm not pale, we redheads simply look like this.", she explained to Helen while she took her shoes off.

"Your daughter doesn't.", Helen raised an eyebrow, not wanting to let that topic go.

"That's not fair. Her hair is a lot more blonde than mine."

 **Flashback - five years and five months ago**

Four weeks had gone by since she had last seen Harvey. Donna was living her life. She had three different job offers and she was pretending to still think about all of them when she had actually decided for one of them because of its distance to Specter Litt.

She didn't care if they were the best, she just wanted to be as far away from him as possible so she wouldn't run into him on her way to work.

She picked up her phone to finally call them and confirm their offer but as she took her phone in her hand it began to ring. 'Mark' appeared on the display and Donna hesitated to take the call.

But after all she wanted a normal life. She didn't depend on Harvey anymore. So she took the call.

"Hey, Mark!", she said in a cheerful voice.

"Donna. I wasn't sure whether you'd want to talk to me after.. you know that night."

"Of course I'll talk to you. We didn't do anything, Mark. But I'm still surprised that you called."

Donna genuinely enjoyed hearing his voice. She didn't really talk to anyone since that thing with Harvey happened and she had always enjoyed his company.

"I don't know if this is too much or too soon but I wanted to ask you if you were up to meeting me tomorrow night?"

Donna shook her head in disbelief but obviously he couldn't see that.

"Mark we've talked about this. You're still married."

"I signed the divorce papers yesterday. I told you we weren't happy."

Donna sighed. Only one week ago she had lost her best friend or whatever they were and it felt wrong just running to the next guy. But it also felt so good talking to him. She hadn't lied to Harvey when she told him that Mark made her feel wanted. He always did that and she knew he'd do almost everything for her. Why not enjoy his company for a while? Maybe this was the perfect distraction.

"Okay then. I'd love to."

"Really Donna? You won't regret it I promise. I can pick you up at eight and then we'll go into that bar we used to go to back in the days.", he sounded so happy and Donna smiled to herself. This was so easy. It has always been easy with him.

"That sounds nice. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Donna."

 **End of flashback**

"You did what?!", Harvey yelled. He hadn't even closed the door behind him yet but she could tell he was angry.

Telling him right away before he was able to say anything had probably been a bad idea.

"I thought you would be happy about that.", Paula looked to the ground. She couldn't bear his gaze right now. The way his eyes darkened for the wrong reasons and he looked like he'd throw something or punch the wall.

"No Paula I'm not happy about the fact that you invited Donna over for dinner. We separated years ago. I was fine without her!"

"Was?"

"And I still am."

"You know maybe it was a stupid idea but I felt guilty and thought that we could have a fun night." Paula was now able to look him in the eyes again.

"And what do you expect us to do? Play board games or maybe even going out to dinner? Do you expect me to call there and book a table for a us and my ex-secretary?!"

"And her husband..", Paula mumbled and turned around, going into their living room.

"And who?!", he asked while he was following her. "She said she was married. And I thought it would be rude not to invite him."

"Since when is she married?", he asked, still angry and still with that expression she absolutely hated on him.

"Does that really matter, Harvey?!" That seemed to have silenced him.

"And since you seem so interested in her life I should probably tell you that she also has a daughter and no I don't know to whom she's married, how old her daughter is or what she had for her bloody breakfast, Harvey!"

He looked surprised. Paula was a rather calm human being and she almost never got angry or loud. So every time she did raise her voice he didn't know what to do.

"Paula, I'm sorry I shouldn't have reacted like this. I guess meeting her yesterday was.. I don't know.. It just felt strange to see her after all these years."

He walked over to her and took her hand. "I appreciate you inviting her and her husband. I'm sure the evening will be fun and I look forward to spending time with them."

He took her in his arms and soon he felt her tears through his dress shirt. "I just feel like we're at the same point we've been five years ago Harvey.", she said quietly against his chest.

"I promise that's not the case. I chose you. It'll be fine."

She let go of him and he gave her a light kiss. But as he pulled away she grabbed his neck and pulled him in for another more passionate kiss. Her tongue found his and as they had to break the kiss his eyes were dark for all the right reasons.

"You're mine, Harvey." she whispered into his ear and his hands moved to her lower back.

"Show me.", he said and she took his hand and led him to their bedroom. But as he followed her he realized that this didn't feel as right as it used to.

 **Flashback - five years and five months ago**

"Mark you're early!", Donna as she opened the door.

"I know but I couldn't wait. And wow.. You look stunning."

Donna chose to wear a dress in dark green that ended shortly above her knees with a v neckline which ended at the perfect spot to leave room for imagination.

She had decided to go big or go home tonight and it certainly looked like she wasn't going home anytime soon.

They sat at a table in the corner of the bar. It was Saturday night so the bar was full of people. But he only had eyes for her and she realized that this was exactly what she needed.

They talked and laughed and after three hours he had just finished his sixth drink and since she wasn't in the mood for alcohol she was busy with her second water of the night.

She knew from their past that he was never the one for much alcohol and he got drunk very easily.

When he began to move closer to her she knew it was also the alcohol that gave him the courage. She would have laughed at how similar the situation was to the one she found herself in last week but it she was also overwhelmed by the realization that apparently every man had to get drunk first to make a real move on her.

"Do you want to go to my place?", he asked after a while. She noticed how close he was and how she could smell the whiskey in his breath. But she wanted the distraction so she simply put one hand on his thigh a little higher than it should have been and he took this as the signal to pay and leave the bar.

Outside of the bar he took her hand in his and looked at her face. It was dark but a dim light was coming from the street light light above them and they were in New York after all. It was never dark here no matter what time it was.

Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her hair was a little messier than a few hours ago.

"You are gorgeous, Donna. Thank you for the evening."

"It was exactly what I needed. So thank you."

"Can I kiss you?", he asked after a whole of just staring at her. Donna smiled at how sweet he was and how he was drunk and still managed to be like that.

"Yes. Yes you can.", she said still smiling. He took her head in his hands and then his lips were on hers.

It was like they never stopped doing this. His beard slightly tickled the skin around her lips as the kiss became more heated.

When they broke apart both of them breathed heavily.

Mark quickly gave a passing cab a sign and it stopped in front of them. On their way to his apartment they shared more heated kisses but they tried to contain themselves not to go at it in front of the driver. They were grown ups after all.

He struggled to open the door with his keys, partly because he was drunk, partly because of Donna who was pressed in his back which was more than distracting.

When he finally managed to get inside he led her to the bedroom immediately.

 **End of flashback**

"I think we'refree next Friday. I already called Cara and she said she is able to take care of Anna that night.", Mark said. Donna was surprised how he almost seemed excited about that evening.

When she told him about how she had met Harvey the other day and then Paula in the park he just listened and then said that he thought it would be a good idea because they rarely did anything with other people as a couple.

He hadn't asked any questions and now, it was the evening after they talked about it, he had apparently taken car of everything and she was surprised that he hadn't called Paula yet.

"Ehm okay sure.. Could you call Paula? I'm really tired and I'd like to go to bed now.", Donna lied. She just didn't want to call Paula and she didn't want to start a discussion about it.

"Although I know that's not the reason and it's only eight o'clock, I will call her."

She smiled at how well he knew her and was thankful that he didn't make a scene.

"Thank you Mark."

"No problem.", he gave her a quick kiss and she turned around to get ready for bed. "Good night, Donna."

When she was in bed she couldn't sleep. It was only 8pm after all.

She thought about Harvey. And Paula. They didn't change much when it came to how they looked. Harvey had a few more wrinkles around his eyes and it had always fascinated her how he had those wrinkles although he smiled so rarely.

He mostly laughed or smiled when they had been alone or when he felt like he could let his guard down.

And Paula? Her hair was longer but thats it. The woman didn't seem to age. He wondered how their life looked like. How he came home, how they ate together and how they talked about what had happened during their days.

It hurt to think about him sharing his life with her. And Donna hated herself for feeling like that and especially after all those years. She thought she was over it but apparently she wasn't. There was just too much history.

 **Flashback - four years and five months ago**

 _Positive_. She stared at the word until she couldn't read it anymore because of the tears that filled her eyes. She had suspected this but now she knew. She was pregnant. But being pregnant wasn't the reason for her tears which now streamed down her face.

She knew who the father was.


End file.
